It’s World Mental Health Day, which means Lewes, it’s time to talk. But what if you’re someone who isn’t comfortable with talking? What if you find it awkward, and you don’t know where to start?
I’ve never found it easy to talk about stuff – how I’m feeling, what I’m worrying about. So instead I keep it quiet and my brain stews on things. Words I’ve used, actions I’ve taken will all be replayed in my brain over and over again. Pulling it apart and putting it back together until it becomes so distorted your brain is tied in knots and you’re exhausted from thinking.
This then frustrates me and that frustration comes out as anger – unkind words and over-reactions. Because my reaction level has become so sensitive that what once wouldn’t phase me, now becomes a catastrophe in my brain that I cant find a solution to. I’m working on this.
But where do you start?
How do you start to try to explain what’s going on in your brain when you can’t even figure it out yourself?
Trust. Trust those people you feel comfortable with. It might not always be your family or your best friend, because sometimes they are so close to you that it makes things harder.
Maybe there are people you work with, have banter with, who you know won’t coddle you in syrupy sympathy that can make you feel worse. These people will listen, (properly listen). They have that knack of putting you at ease and you can laugh, cry, shout and be angry. But in the end they will help you unravel the thoughts in your brain enough to help you see things a bit more clearly. And maybe even give you a hug if you need it.
Sometimes people who have difficulty talking might ask questions. Questions that might seem slightly related to a topic or even slightly off topic. This might seem strange to you, but perhaps they are trying to find answers to help them make sense of something. Don’t dismiss them or treat them as an annoyance. Really listen to them to see if there is something you can hear. Something they might be trying to tell you. Ask questions back but don’t overwhelm them.
It’s good to talk
Social media talks a lot about how it’s good to talk, but I cant find a great deal on how to start that conversation. Maybe that’s a gap that needs to be bridged? Maybe it’s a case of just talking to a person to provide a distraction.
Maybe you’re someone who prefers to write in words that you can’t then verbalize? That’s good too. Write it down, put it in a diary, send your worry on a text to someone you know will listen. There is no right or wrong way, there is only your way and what works for you. Mental health is a vast arena with so much to learn and understand, and with each human being unique, there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach.
Please don’t think your worries and problems don’t matter. They matter to you and should never be dismissed. Sometimes you might think that someone else has worse/more problems than you, so you don’t want to talk. But if it’s worrying you then it’s a valid worry. Use whatever method you need to address it.
If you are struggling please reach out in whatever way you can, via whatever medium you need to use. It may seem scary, but people are kind.
All of us at Body Happy Lewes are happy to talk. If you want to talk, we are all here. Because health and wellness is about a lot more than just going to the gym. It’s about what’s going on with your whole body and mind.
Written by Natalie Stewart